Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Kevin Smith x Scott Mosier x Scott Campbell

A lot of people have been emailing and asking more about the SMart show this Friday night with out hosts Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier. And to explain it better, to illustrate the idea of artists taking the transcripts from Kevin and Scott's podcast, the SModcast, I figure we'd give you the dialogue from the episode, then follow it up with one of the two pieces Scott Campbell came up with. A prime example. So here's the text, which was heard both on the podcast, and printed in the new Kevin Smith...

SMODCAST #42 - Kevin the Angel tells Scott Mosier that Scott is to be the Father of the next coming of Christ.

Kevin Smith: An angel appeared to you and he looks like me. He’s like, “Hey man.”
Scott Mosier: I’m like, “What are you doing?”
KS: “What do you mean, ‘What am I doing?’”
SM: How angelic are you? Are you floating? If you’re just standing at the foot
of my bed in a white robe…
KS: No, I’m dressed like this, but I have a halo.
SM: Like tinfoil?
KS: No, it’s hovering.
SM: There would have to be something about you.
KS: I’m the angel Gabriel. You’re you. [Yells] “Hey man, wake up!”
SM: “Why are you so aggressive?”
KS: “I’m just happy. I’m here to deliver the good news. The gospel!” Oh wait,
Alex has got to sleep through it… it’s an angel thing.
SM: “Yeah but I’m half asleep too. You don’t have to yell.”
KS: “Well, wake up. I’ve got big news. This is important.”
SM: “Alright, I’m right here.”
KS: “You know your lady is having a baby right?”
SM: “Yeah?”
KS: “You know that baby is not yours?”
SM: “Er, that’s what I hear.”
KS: “Who’s baby is that?”
SM: “I don’t know.”
KS: “Take a guess.”
SM: “Yours?”
KS: “No man, I’m an angel. We don’t have sexual organs. I don’t have a di*k.
It’s f*cked up, wanna see?”
SM: “No. Erm, I don’t know.”
KS: “It’s God’s baby. Did that f*cking blow your hair back? It’s God’s baby in
your lady’s tummy!”
SM: “It does.” At this point isn’t that the anti-Christ? Isn’t that the second
KS: Well no, there’s a difference between those two things. There’s an anti-
Christ and there’s a second coming. So let’s say this is the second coming.
“Hell sh*t, yeah! It’s the second coming man!”
SM: Yeah, but isn’t the second coming like he’s coming to bring us peanut
butter jelly sandwiches?
KS: Actually the second coming, they say that he returns as a lion, not a
lamb. First time he came as a lamb. Which was why he was in the f*cking
trough in a stable, makes sense. But he says, “When I come back I’m coming
back as a lion not a lamb.” So actually he wouldn’t come back as a baby I
don’t think, he’d come back as a man. He’d come down as Jesus, as the Jesus
we all know from pictures.
SM: He’d just take the elevator down?
KS: No, he wouldn’t need an elevator. He’s Jesus. But the angel’s like, “Yeah,
we were going to send him down as a lion not a lamb, but we figured why
not make him a lamb again. Worked out so well the first time.”
SM: So he’s the second lamb?
KS: Yeah, he’s the second lamb. The lamb of God. “Your old lady is carrying
God and that God-baby is going to grow up to be God-man — not to be
confused with Batman or Superman — but God-man. He will fight his archnemesis
The Joker. No, the anti-Christ. So you cool with this? I guess we
should’ve asked you before but…”
SM: “Yeah, you’re not really giving me a choice.”
KS: “Nah, well this is America.”
SM: “We didn’t want kids. Why didn’t you pick someone who wanted
KS: “Because, it makes a bigger profound statement.”

And here is what Scott Campbell, a genius, created.

You guys gotta stop by...and listen to SModcast free on iTunes or on the Internet! And listen to Kevin sit in all week with Kevin & Bean on KROQ 106.7 FM!

See you Friday!

G1988: LA

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